I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
