Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
