I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
