So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
