Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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