is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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