So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
