I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
