Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
