More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Plan B is the new Plan A
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Panties = found
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
