I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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