brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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