I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
