Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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