Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
