yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
