Betty ford says i'm here all night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
God gave him joint rollers for hands
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
