Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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