Only a mothe r could love this liver
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
did you just send me my own nude
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
