you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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