you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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