I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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