"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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