David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
