Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
