i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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