Your dad touched me again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
