If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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