He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
