margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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