Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!

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(612): View more from Minnesota

He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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(917): View more from New York City

She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC

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(561): View more from Florida

You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.

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