You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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