Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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