There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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