We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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