she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
