no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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