question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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