I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
