Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
