i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
