North Korea, Best Korea!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
