I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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