ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
