Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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