so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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