you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
