I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
