He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
