i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
