I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Will exercising make me less horny?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
