I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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