giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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