I feel like abortions should bother me more
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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