He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
