I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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