Only a mothe r could love this liver
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my poor anus
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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