Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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