didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
