ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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