So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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