one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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