What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
