I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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