You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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