trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
