best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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