I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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