and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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