I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
